Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this will be a night to untag.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
