Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
