I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
