Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
