i barfeds in our rink
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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