You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
