Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
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He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
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Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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