i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
it's great music for shaving your balls
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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