Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
