I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
