we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
drinking out of a sandbucket again
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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