He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize