my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
