Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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