I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
