i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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