i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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