ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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