new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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