just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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