He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
