i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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