I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
