When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
