I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dude i'm inner monologue high
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
