is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
