Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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