quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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