would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
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