holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
