I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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