I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
