I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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