So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
