you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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