You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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