I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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