Just took my morning after pill in the library
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
