What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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