he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
