What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I wish there were birth control emojis
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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