in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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