hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This is classic penis vs brain.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
