Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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