Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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