i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
