He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
