I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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