rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize