I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
