she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
