I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Randomize