Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I need a beard to bite.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
