too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize