I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize