I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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