so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
