just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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