What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
