Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
