Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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