She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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