you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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